


Touch Starved

by AuthorUnniOng



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Boys Kissing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, cho seungyoun - Freeform, han seungwoo - Freeform, ryeonseung, seungyoun is a brat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 09:47:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20851424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuthorUnniOng/pseuds/AuthorUnniOng
Summary: Seungyoun doesn't understand why Seungwoo is always ignoring him.The only way he can get his attention is by acting up... and boy does he act up.(Or seungyoun is babie who needs love and affection 24/7)





	Touch Starved

**Author's Note:**

> ryeonseung is becoming my biggest ship for x1, so yall can expect more from this duo.
> 
> i started this weeks ago and i wasn't sure if i'd finish it but i think considering all the drama today i think we all need some distraction so here. 
> 
> enjoy. 
> 
> \- min (ong unni)

Seungyoun stared at his reflection in the sweat steamed mirrors of the practice room and tried to train his eyes to stop drifting.

He had to stop staring like this.

Someone would notice…

You see, it was odd, Seungyoun considered himself an easy-going guy; he was extroverted, loud and made friends easily.

But.

It was different with Seungwoo.

Everything was different with Seungwoo.

He just didn’t know how to get his attention. He didn’t know how to get past the slight awkwardness that seemed to permeate the air whenever they were left alone. He was beginning to think the elder was avoiding him on purpose, always too busy with the others, always had something else to do instead of talking to him and Seungyoun didn’t know how to change that. 

It was easy with the others.

Wooseok was the same age as him and his soft-spoken nature balanced out Seungyoun’s brashness. He’d been in the same group as him and Hangyul multiple times during produce so they broke through any awkwardness they may have had. Yohan was also easy to connect with; the boy was loud and a giant dork one of his closest friends in the group. Dohyun seemed to look up to him with bright eyes regardless of the dumb things he did. Lastly, the 02’ line, who were a mixed bag of characters from the loud and excitable to the quiet and calm but he still clicked with them all, even feeling comfortable to just bask in each other’s silence.

But Seungwoo…

He was his only hyung in the group and one of the members he didn’t perform with even once on the show. They never shared a dorm and they never really had that ‘wall break’ moment.

At first he thought it would change when they all moved into the dorms, everyone began spending 24/7 together, it was hard not to become close… yet Seungwoo seemed to be blissfully unaware of his efforts.

It was hard not to think that maybe the older boy just didn’t like him.

“Cho Seungyoun!” The boy in question’s voice broke through his daze. “Didn’t you hear me? We’re starting up again. Try to pay attention!” The elder scolded. Seungyoun pouted.

Okay, so there was one way he could catch the elder’s attention.

And maybe, just maybe Seungyoun liked to play into that.

It was always small things; teasing, goofing off, being overly excitable… he didn’t want the elder to actually get mad at him he just wanted to hear those two words _Cho Seungyoun! _leave his lips.

“Sorry, hyung!” Seungyoun got up with a mischievous grin and joined the others.

Perhaps he should have been more careful on this particular day. More observant.

Because on this day tensions were running high.

Of course, they would be; throwing eleven very different guys in any time-sensitive situation was bound to get tense after a while.

And boy was it a sensitive time.

Their debut was less than a week away and the pressure was getting to everyone. The combination of still getting comfortable with each other and trying to learn an entirely new choreography would be difficult enough as it is but the addition of the fact that over half of the group were so young or so inexperienced meant the older members had to shoulder all the responsibility in getting them to the level they needed to be for their debut.

They practiced and practiced until the hours bled into one another, even Seungyoun felt like his soul was escaping his body.

It was just after 1 am, when Seungwoo called for another break. Everyone collapsed onto the cold floor, letting the exhaustion that had taken hold of their limbs win.

Seungyoun almost crawled over to his bottle, chugging water as he wiped the sweat from his brow. 

His eyes landed on their leader once more, he couldn’t help stare at the way his sweat soaked t-shirt stuck to him, accentuating his toned body, clinging to his abs and broad shoulders.

Yes. He was attracted to him. Yes, he liked him more than he should as his group member. But to be honest he’d be happy if the older would just treat him the same way he did the others, he didn’t need to like him back.

The elder was walking across the room when he called out.

“Seungwoo hyung, sit with-”

“Not now, Seungyoun.” The leader’s exasperated tone was like a dagger to his heart.

His face fell as he watched the elder walk over to the maknae’s practically pulling Dongpyo into his lap as he sat amongst them.

Seungyoun lay back on the cold ground watching them. The way the elder’s expression warmed, his eyes lit up as he talked to the babies, the way he brushed his fingers through Dongpyo’s hair, let Hyungjun use his shoulder like a pillow.

He wondered what it was like.

To feel that warmth from him. To be held like that. He missed feeling loved.

“What’s wrong, hyung?” Dohyon interrupted his moping, dropping down beside him, drinking his strawberry milk.

“Nothing, just tired.” He tried to be convincing.

“Sure.” Dohyon wasn’t convinced.

Seungyoun ruffled his hair, sitting up. If being a nuisance was the only way to get his hyung’s attention, then so be it.

“Let’s play a something.” He suddenly said, jumping up and pulling the maknae up with him. 

The game ended up being the two of them swinging each other around the room. The rest of the members grumbled, rightfully so, even Hangyul was too tired to join in with his misguided attention seeking.

“Right guys, let’s get back to it, another half hour only I promise.” Seungwoo got up, stretching his limbs, “get into your positions.” He barely glanced at Seungyoun and Dohyon.

_Was he really going to ignore them? Was he really not going to say anything? _

Seungyoun and Dohyun continued to mess around as everyone else got ready to practice again. He was getting frustrated now. Seungwoo won’t give him attention even to scold him anymore?

_Hyung, please look at me. Ple-_

Seungyoun’s hands slipped and Dohyon went spinning, crashing directly into Seungwoo his drink spilling entirely down his front.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

Dohyun was quick to apologise, but Seungwoo stopped him.

“Seungyoun, what the fuck?” His tone was angrier than Seungyoun expected causing younger to freeze. He hadn’t meant to actually upset him...

“Hyung, I’m sorry-” Dohyon tried again.

“Dohyon ah, it’s not your fault.” Seungwoo dismissed, finally turning to look Seungyoun in the eyes.

Seungyoun felt himself shrink under his gaze. 

“What the hell is wrong with you, Seungyoun? God, damn it, we’re all tired. Why can’t you listen to me for 2 minutes?” Seungwoo raised his voice suddenly, the younger members jumping at his sudden change in tone.

Seungyoun didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to reply without sounding dumb.

_‘I want to pay attention to me?’_

_‘Why don’t you look after me like you look after them?’_

_‘This is the most you’ve acknowledged me in days…’ _

_‘Hold me.’_

He couldn’t say any of that.

So, he went with anger.

“2 minutes? We’ve been going at this all day? Can’t we just call it?” He scoffed.

“No. We can’t we’re debuting in three days; we have to get this right!”

“The kids are about to pass out!” He argued back. He didn’t know why he was pushing so much.

“They can handle it! They seem to know what’s at stake – even if you don’t! They listen to me!” Seungwoo was yelling now. The other members were staring in shock, their leader had never cracked and yelled at them before, much less so intensely.

Seungyoun could see Wooseok stood to his right, trying to figure out when he should step in.

“They LISTEN? How fucking- what the fuck?! You only care about them that’s why!” He barrelled forward only to be held back by Hangyul, he wasn’t sure what he was trying to do but his heart was pounding and he couldn’t stay still. He bit his lip. He didn’t want to fight like this, he wanted to cry. He wanted to bang his fists against the elder’s chest and ask what he did wrong to be ignored like this.

“Let me go-”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Seungyoun ah? Can you calm down; you’re upsetting the kids?” Seungwoo said a flicker of confusion joining the anger in his expression, he glanced at the younger members, Hyungjun and Dongpyo wore identical concerned pouts.

“Oh, you don’t know what I’m talking about? Okay, s-sure.” Fuck, he was cracking. “Is this how you treated your other members? Did you only care about half of them? Maybe Byungchanie lucked out.”

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._ He didn’t mean to say that. 

A gasp rang out.

Seungyoun knew he was two seconds from bawling. He moved quickly trying to brush past the elder but a strong grip on his arm stopped him.

“Wooseok ah, take the kids and go back to the dorm.” Seungwoo said in a terrifyingly calm tone, a frown etched deep into his face. Seungyoun stared at the ground, willing himself to calm down, to breathe.

“Hyung-”

“Wooseok ah.”

“Okay, okay.” Wooseok herded the younger boys quickly out of the room.

And suddenly they were alone.

Seungyoun couldn’t breathe.

Fists clenched he stared down the elder. If this was how it had to be, then he wouldn’t back down. He was prepared to fight, if it meant he could feel something again.

“Seungyoun, we’re all under pressure so I’m going to let go of what you said but I need you to realise there are nine other members that are younger than you, you can’t just act like a child for attention whenever you feel like it.” Seungwoo said, arms crossed, “Even Dohyonie behaves well and he’s almost literally a child.” He chided in the same way you would a toddler who was throwing a fit.

Seungyoun just stared at him, his face heating up, ears ringing with embarrassment.

How could he talk to him that way when he was the reason?

_It’s your fault you, asshole. _

How could he not see the way he ignored him was driving him insane?

_Why don’t you care about me? _He wanted to shout.

Seungwoo turned to leave and Seungyoun just lost control of his body.

Lunging forward he shoved the leader as hard as he can, sending him stumbling back almost crashing into the wall of mirrors that surrounded the room.

The older turned to him incredulously.

“Seungyoun, what the hell is wrong with you?!” He shouted.

“Me? You’re what’s wrong with me you fucking asshole!” the anger and frustration that had built inside him finally bubbled over and screamed back at him.

He tried to push the elder again but Seungwoo grabbed his arms. He fought him, trying to get loose trying to punch or kick but the elder flipped their position slamming Seungyoun against the mirrors, his anger clearly getting the better of him. The younger struggled for a moment but was ultimately beaten by his larger hyung.

“You’re the one acting like an ass. What did I do?” Seungwoo hissed, getting right in his face, their noses millimetres apart.

“You should know.”

“I _don’t_. I don’t know what I did to make you become such a petulant child. So please, explain it.” Seungwoo hissed.

Silence fell once again, as the two found themselves in a dead heat. Seungyoun couldn’t form the words to make a coherent sentence, not when the elder was glaring at him, two inches from his face. 

Neither one backed down, neither one wanted to be the first to back away, show weakness. No.

The other members would back down. They wouldn’t feel the need to get a one up on the other.

But Seungwoo and Seungyoun. They both spent too much time backing down, too much time having others get one over on them. They wouldn’t – couldn’t accept this, even from their own members.

The heat that surrounded them was almost suffocating Seungyoun felt like he was melting under Seungwoo’s touch. The touch he craved so badly and had to go to such extremes to get. They’re bodies were so close that the anger rose from both of them like steam.

Predictably, it was Seungyoun that cracked first. Once again, it was like he couldn’t control himself.

He surged forward, pressing his lips against the elder boy’s catching him completely off guard and sending them both reeling to the ground.

He ignored the pain that shot through him as they fell, Seungwoo flat on his back, Seungyoun into his chest. A groan emanating from both.

“What th-”

Seungyoun didn’t let him finish, grasping at the elder’s collar and leaning in for another sloppy kiss.

He didn’t know what he was doing. All the alarms were going off in his head.

_Stop it. You’re fucking everything up. Stop it! _

But he was angry.

Frustrated.

He needed a release.

For a moment Seungwoo was deadly still before his hands found a grip on Seungyoun’s waist and his lips began to move against his.

It was rough, aggressive, tongues fighting for dominance, it was like they were trying to hurt each other. Seungwoo’s nails dug into his hips and the pain shot down his spine and to his crotch.

One of Seungwoo’s hands slipped under his shirt, exploring the younger’s chest and faintly defined abs. A moan escaped his lips, his momentary jolt of pleasure allowing for the older boy to roll them so he was hovering over Seungyoun, between his willingly spread legs.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck…_

Seungyoun didn’t know what to do with his limbs as his hyung’s body pressed down against his, he settled for gripping the elder’s hair, tightly pulling at the strands, making him moan a mix of pain and pleasure.

Their frantic movement stalled when they seemed to realise they needed to breathe. Seungwoo pulled back, his bangs matted against his forehead, panting aggressively.

“What the hell are you doing?” He growled huskily, hunger evident in his eyes he closed the distance between their lips and kissed him once again before the younger could even form a coherent thought. 

His lips were intoxicating, lighting his whole body on fire. The touch-starved monster that grew in his chest was singing with joy. More. He wanted more but he _needed_ to clear his head before this went too far, he could already feel himself getting hard and he couldn’t deal with being humiliated a second time in one day.

He tried to pull away, “I-” Seungyoun stuttered and was interrupted again. Seungwoo needed to stop kissing him before-

A low, embarrassing whine rang out across the practice room as Seungwoo ground down, bucking against Seungyoun. Seungyoun weakly tried to push him off, if the older didn’t stop he was going to cum in his pants. His attempts to move were easily foiled when the elder grabbed his wrists and held them above his head in a tight grip.

Seungyoun was sure he was overheating; his senses were flooded – far too easily for his liking. When finally, after a few more moments of mind melting kisses, the leader pulled back, his breath still haggard and his cheeks dusted with pink.

A hush fell on them once again, Seungwoo staring at him from above, body still pressed between Seungyoun’s legs, strong arms holding his wrists down. 

Seungyoun was dazed, he felt weak, he felt small and overpowered and yet… he leaned forward trying to catch the elder’s lips from his position.

“H-hyung…” he whimpered, his anger drained, all that was left was the need to be touched, to be held by his hyung. To feel his love.

Seungwoo let his wrists go and much to his disappointment, the elder backed away, his senses seemingly returning.

Seungyoun couldn’t bring himself to move. His lips still tingling from their kiss.

The elder seemed shocked with his own actions, leaning back against the mirror, trying to catch his breath.

“Seungyoun… why are you so upset with me?” Seongwoo asked him, not acknowledging what just happened, his voice distant in Seungyoun’s ears.

It was not the question Seungyoun expected.

And he wasn’t quite sure how to answer without sounding stupid.

“You don’t care about me… like you do the others.” He whispered the last part, the fear he felt inside finally thrown into the open.

“What?” Seungwoo sounded genuinely confused.

Seungyoun bit his lip, fingers trembling slightly as he picked at a loose thread hanging from his shirt. He tried to look unbothered.

“Y-you don’t seem to care about me, you never spend time with me, you never h-hug me or coddle me like you do with the others - even Wooseok and he’s only a couple months younger than me. It’s like you pretend I’m not there,” he sighed, finally sitting up to look at the older, whose expression was unreadable. “I know I’m old enough not to need that but I used to be one of the maknaes and now I’m a hyung but sometimes I still need someone to ruffle my hair or tell me I did a good j-job.” He could feel his voice get wobbly as he tried to keep it together. “You only notice me when I’m acting up…”

“So that’s why?”

Seungyoun nodded, he felt embarrassed.

“Seungyoun ah, I’m sorry.” Seungwoo looked genuinely upset. He scooted forward till he was close enough to the younger that their knees brushed, “I guess, I was avoiding you. I thought you wouldn’t notice but I was trying to avoid being around you when we were alone. I guess it spiraled from there…”

Seungyoun didn’t understand. Seungwoo hesitantly cupped his face, thumb brushing along his jawline. The younger froze under his touch, eyes searching Seungyoun’s expression for any clues.

“Hyung, I don’t-”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Younie. I _am_ the asshole. I don’t treat you like I treat the others because I don’t see you like I see the others… for a while now I admired you from afar and on the show, I just fell for you so hard. I never thought I would make it but then I did and you were right here in front of me. My member. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable by clinging onto you when it’s because I like you. I didn’t think you could want me and I guess the way you were acting out… I thought you might actually dislike me.” Seungwoo stumbled through his explanation but truthfully Seungyoun didn’t hear anything after ‘I like you’.

“You like me?” He found it hard to believe.

Seungwoo nodded, “I was trying to be a good hyung by leaving you alone but I guess I didn’t realise you needed me as your hyung before anything else.”

Seungyoun didn’t know how to process half of what the elder was saying to him but he knew what he wanted in that moment. He climbed into the elder’s lap, clinging to him like a koala, legs around his waist, arms tightly wound around his neck.

“I thought you hated me. I genuinely thought you hated me, you asshole.” He said somewhere between laughing and sobbing. He buried his head in the crook of his shoulder as Seungwoo’s arms came up to hug him back. Soothingly rubbing circles in his dongsaeng’s back.

Seungyoun finally felt like he could breathe. The touch-starved monster in his chest faded with every passing moment in the elder’s embrace.

“I like you too, don’t you dare let go of me ever again.”

**Author's Note:**

> kudos/comments always appreciated 
> 
> stay strong fellow one it's, x1 will get through this <3 
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Ongie_Yoongs)  
<3  
[CuriousCat](https://curiouscat.me/Ongie_Yoongs) <3


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